Carried away

This past weekend I entered into an unexpected love affair with a bottle of tawny port. As a person who rarely drinks any form of alcohol I felt it was quite the treat to lay around drinking port and reading poetry all afternoon. That said, It has taken me from a slightly spacey place to feeling completely excarnated. I've found myself floating over my body for the last week. Hovering and attempting to ground myself. In the week I've realized just how much I can enjoy getting carried away (it's fun to wallow in emotion at times). The whole concept scares me a bit because it can feel desperate and grasping at moments. It's as if I will move and then suddenly wake up from what felt like I was in a dream. I realize responsibility for my actions, but as I act I am not fully incarnate in my movements. I can't help but wonder if this is part of my process. To feel ungrounded, dreamy, out of control and then acknowlegde that I have the power to take hold of these actions(and then take hold of them). I've looked back at moments in my life where I've felt carried away-they always have potential for leaving me embarassed, upset, or frustrated. I also had the gift of a friend telling me not to worry about these moments- that each moment that passes that I can consciously take up my actions is a moment that I am not carried away and each moment that passes is victorious. So at this moment I am trying to cultivate my feeling of victory. It's a slow process.